"Yeah, Well See You On MTV"

I encounter some characters while I am on my bike rides.

Some of which are nice like Pat, a mentally handicapped man that has a disability with his legs, who I have not seen since I have moved from the 12 mile and Harper area. I was happy to see he was still alive and I ended up talking with him at Dairy Boy for a good fifteen minutes.

Then there are the not so nice people.

The people who do not acknowledge stop signs, who walk directly in the middle of the side-walk, people who turn onto one way streets, people who let their dogs pounce on you like wildebeests and people who text while they drive and yell at you for crossing on a red hand, while if it was not for you they would have ran a red light and gone on to meet their maker, seize to be and go on to bird heaven.

Now I have to reveal something. The last thing I described happened today.

It happened at the light at 12 mile and Harper. There was a kid probably waiting with me to cross who was no older than 10. He was freaking out because he told his mom he would be home at 7:30, it was 8.

If you live and or drive in Saint Clair Shores, you know the lights on 10 mile, 12 mile and 13 mile are absolutely horrible. And that is when you are in your car. Imagine if you actually have to cross the street.

One side had the green light and one side had a red light. There was a large break in traffic, so I told the kid, "Walk by the left of me and I will help you cross". (By walking on the left-side of me I formed a human shield ) So we started walking. J-Walking. Technically speaking.

Half-way through, I wondered if this made me a criminal mastermind. What with breaking the law and having someone else with me doing the same. That made me feel awesome.

What made me feel not so awesome was the 16 year old girl who almost hit me. (Keep in mind she had a red light). She also had a Slurpee in one hand and her cell phone in the other and unless if she was Goro and this was Mortal Kombat she had no other arms to spare.

"Watch where you are f***ing going, you idiot," she said.

"Are you joking right now?!" I rebuttaled.

"No I'm not dip-s***" She countered with.

I quipped back with, "Hey, watch your language"

Then I silently chuckled, as if you know me I cuss like a drunken sailor on vacation.

Then I got back to reality from my frugal thought.

She then called me a dumbass.

Then I unleashed possibly my most mean spirited insult ever. Even more mean spirited when I (accidentally) called a Detroit Cop a Thunder "C-Word" when he backed up traffic after the Panic! At The Disco Concert.

I got back on my bike, looked at her and said, "Yeah, well see you on MTV in a year."

For those of you wondering why I said that, you probably have never seen 16 and Pregnant.

Now that I told you that, you are now probably staring at your computer screen going, "Ahhhhhh" and then following that up with, "Man I (Aaron) am an asshole."

But that kid who I helped did not think so.

Because after all that transpired he looked at me and said, "Thanks dude."

He ran home and I starting laughing because all I could think about was how he was going to tell his mom why he was late.

"Mom, you are not going to believe this! There was a guy on a bike and this girl and she had a red light and...."

I hope his mom believed him.