This Is What They Did Wrong...

Alright, before everyone jumps off the wagon (oph, there was the last one). Let me say one thing: This technically is not over. Unless game five ends with Texas having more runs, this is not over.

Having said that, this series could and should be tied at two games a piece. I can not say that any more concise, black and white, cut and dry, etc.

The game game down to the last four innings, that is when you know it is a good, ney, great game. Because, that is when you not only have the players trying to place themselves in baseball record books. But, that is when the managers really have to micro-manager games. The last four or three innings of a game is when you really see what a manager is made of.

Now, I really have to put aside my opinion of Jim Leyland here. And even with my already less than savory or positive view on his managerial skills, I can say he was one of two people to cost the Tigers this game.

Not Gene Lamont sending Cabrera.

Not Valverde giving up that Home Run.

I can say that this game and lose boiled down to two people:

Leyland and Cabrera.

Now, Cabrera did give the Tigers the lead and two RBIs early on. But, he cost the Tigers their most important run. He weighs at least 240 pounds. I would not be surprised if it is more like 255. He at least has a 20-30 pound difference with Napoli.

It is game five of the ALCS, you are tied in the 8th, you are at home, you are down in the series 2-1, you are supposed to be a leader on this team.

You run that catcher over.

I do not care if he gets fined, I do not care if Napoli holds on.

You still run the catcher over.

Cabrera should be smart enough to know that he was going to be beat. He should have known half-way down the line that he was going to go into him.

In my mind that cost the Tigers the game.

All the momentum, all the energy, all the more runs than the Rangers. Gone.

And do not pin that play on Gene Lamont. He had to send him. It was bottom of the 8th and it was the best chance for the Tigers to score. You can argue otherwise, but how many people have they left on base? And you had Martinez on first. Who you could also argue is maybe the second slowest runner on the team.

That was Cabrera.

Now, this is what Leyland did wrong:

First, he chose to send Jackson for one of the first times this off-season right in the bottom of the 10th. Jackson should have been on second, not for the reason that he may or not of actually been out. But, because of the fact that he should be more of a runner. Leyland should have him steal more. Jackson should know what to do in that situation, and not have to think, "Oh, god. I have to steal now". He just have ice in his veins in that situation. He just of had that base. Yes, you can blame Jackson or the Ump. Because, we all know the Umps cost the Tigers every game (sarcasm). But, that is on Leyland. For the sole reason of not having Jackson personally comfortable in that situation.

Second, he intentionally walked someone who was 0-4 with two strike-outs, and was injured. Why? I do not know.

Third, he put in Valverde in a non-save situation. All people who know Valverde, know non-save situation Valverde is akin to a lose. And tonight was no different.

Leyland made many moves and decisions that I thought were detrimental to the Tigers. In sort, I think we found out what kind of manager he really is.

Let me leave with these two numbers that drive that point home.

26 and 6.95

26- How many games Valverde pitched in non-save situations in the regular season.

6.95- His ERA from those 26 apperances.

6.95....

"...Rock Me Mama Like A Wagon Wheel..."

Look, if you are going to be a Tiger's fan now, you should at least get a crash course in how to be a Tigers fan.

Do not try to hide now.

You are very easy to spot.

You were the person wearing the Ben Wallace afro in 2004. Who had a signed spelt: "FEAR THE FROWW!!". True story, I saw a guy with that sign. You were also the person in 2006 who bought a Joel Zumaya jersey. You were the person who made the Tigers finish last in 2008. You were the person in 2011 who defended Jimmy Howard and called him "The greatest goalie ever".

Again, you are very easy to spot.

So, let me help you not get challenged to a duel by an actual fan, by cracking a small egg of knowledge for you the Tiger fan who was a Tiger fan in 2008 because of Miguel Cabrera, left half-way in 2008 because they were in last place, and then came back two days ago because, hey-ho-whatta-ya-know the Tigers are back in the playoffs again.

Guess what.

They did this five years... to the Yankees. Well, at least five years ago they were about to close it out at home.

Yes, that was a subtle jab at the Tigers for that 10-1 display in game four.

But, after tonight, that point is moot.

If you want to be a fan DO NOT:

- Post exaggeratory statii on Facebook. Example: "Oh my god. Don Kelly is like the greatest player ever! :)". Even with his home-run tonight, Tiger fans will still look at you dead in the eye and say, "No. Dear god, no".

- Buy apparel of players on a hot-streak. Everytime I see people with Boesch, Dirks (Yes, I saw a guy with an Andy Dirks jersey T-shirt today. Could not tell if I was more surprised in the person for buying one, or for Majestic for even making them.), and or Avila jersey I want to troll them. BUT AARON, AVILA IS AN ALL-STAR CATCHER!! Yeah, just to make sure we are on the same page, Avila existed last year too. And last year he could not even beat out Gerald Laird for the starting catcher position. So, shut up.

- Post statii negating all accomplishments the Tigers made if they get knocked out. Example: "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The Tigers suck. Valverde sucks. Way to go!!!!!!!!!!!" I really do not want to waste energy describing my view on this.

- Tell me that their pitching totally sucks. Only Brad Penny. Do the names Matt Perisho, Mark Redmond, Jeff Weaver and or Dave Milicki ring a bell? Well, for the bandwagon fan probably not. But, for a person who knew the Tigers of the '90s or early '00s just had 'Nam flashbacks, because they thought they never had to see those names again.

- Do not tell me that Jose Valverde is the most entertaing pitcher in Tigers history. Jose Lima. Rest in peace, you crazy m'fer.

- Do not say that Magglio is worthless. Would you rather have Robert Fick in right field. Sorry for another 'Nam flashback.

I know there are more things. But, I am getting too angry thinking about them.

But, let me say this:

Please do not ruin this for us. For the love of Allah, please do not ruin this for us.

Ten years ago are deadline deals involved trading away Jose Macias to Montreal for Chris Truby and three used baseballs.

Now we can actually be proud of the Tigers. Just give us this moment. You had 2008 and you ruined it. All of it.

So, let us real Tiger fans rejoice in our second trip to the ALCS in six seasons. For us Tiger fans this is a big-deal. If you told me in 2002 that the Tigers would be in the ALCS twice over the next ten years, I would have thought you were stupid.

Or high.

Or stupid high.

And for some of your parents who may be saying that the Tigers of this year were nothing compared to those of 1984 or 1968. Well, they are right.

But, that is a whole different lesson for a different day.

Possible Titles For The Sequel To Finding Nemo

Will and I talk about random stuff.

Today was no different. We started talking about Pixar movies, specifically Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo and how they were making sequels of them apparently.

I did not get how they could make a sequel to Finding Nemo on account of... them finding him.

But, nevertheless here are some potential movie titles for the sequel to Finding Nemo...

Oh, none of these are really that funny. But, you will read it anyway. Cause you are awesome...

Finding Nemo 2: FOUND HIM!

Finding Nemo 2: Shit, We Lost Him Again.

Finding Nemo 2: I Swear To God He Was Just Here A Second Ago.

Finding Nemo 2: Polo.. You see Marco Polo Is An Aquatic.. Nevermind.

Finding Nemo 2: Pixar Will Make A Sequel For All Of Their Franchises. Cars?

Tyler Perry's I Can Find Nemo All By Myself

Finding Nemo 2+1= 3D!!!!!!!!

Finding Nemo 2: ...Maybe He Swam Away This Time.

Finding Nemo 2: Two Many Fish In The Sea (Get it? It is a play on words)

Finding Nemo 2: Ha-Ha-Nanny-Boo-Boo, We Got A Sequel Shark Tale

Finding Nemo 2: Bigger Jaws (Yeah, Family Guy Joke)

Finding Nemo 2: Adventerous Little Fish, Isn't He?

Finding Nemo 2: Because Ellen Degeneress and Brad Garrett Need Something To Do

Tyler Perry's I Can Get Lost Again All By Myself

Tyler Perry's Why Did I Lose Nemo

(Seriously just choose a word or two and apply it to a Tyler Perry movie. Works everytime. It is like the Seven Degrees Of Kevin Bacon, except it is the One Degree Of Really Shitty Movies).

Finding Nemo 2: How To Lose A Fish (Again) In Ten Days

Finding Nemo 2: The Dark Fish Rises (BATMAN!!!)

Finding Nemo 2: No, This Is Actually A Theatrical Release. What? You Thought This Was Straight To DVD? Me Too... Me Too.

Finding Nemo 2: Wait, You Mean I Have To Sit In A Theatre With A Bunch Of Loud Kids Again? Pass. Super Pass. Uber Pass.

Finding Nemo 2: Why Did They Never Make A Sequel To A Bug's Life? I Enjoyed That Movie.

Finding Nemo 2: Nemo! Nemo? Damn, I Have To Find Him Again.

You Look Like You Need Some Music

I have not posted a blog post in awhile. I have not posted a music blog post in a longer while. Well, come join me as I kill two birds with one stone.

I just a Spotify account yonder day, so quite a bit of music has happened. Like all the music.

Here are some casual suggestions for you the reader/potential music listener of my suggestions.

1. Lou Reed- Transformer: Now, this is just a fantastic album. By happenstance Andy's Chest was the first song I listened to on Spotify. I saw Lou Reed's face and then it happened.
2. Various Artists- The Motion Picture Soundtrack to Pirate Radio: This is leaps and bounds my favorite soundtrack album to any movie. It is honestly a comp.- (compilation album) that I would give to a person that said they wanted to get into '60s pop. Amazing movie and amazing soundtrack.
3. Warren Zevon- The Wind: I would say for all intensive purposes this is the saddest album I have ever listened to. It is Warren Zevon's last album and he recorded it while he was dying with terminal lung cancer. I encourage you to youtube "Warren Zevon's Last Letterman Apperance" it is like 8 parts. Worth every minute.
4. Ludacris- The Red Light District: I listened to Luda for the first time in probably three years last week when I impulsively listened to Welcome to Atlanta with Ludacris and Jermaine Dupri. Then I was reminded of one particular record shopping voyage I was on with my friend Craig. It was at my favorite record store Car City Records. They had Chicken-N-Beer on vinyl and I thought about it, but I did not buy it. Kind of regret it.
5. N.W.A.- Straight Outta Compton: Everytime, EVERYTIME I listen to gansta rap or rap with many-a-no-no-word, I always have to come back to N.W.A. They started it all. And to be honest, I just enjoy rapping along to Fuck Tha Police.
6. Laurie Anderson- Big Science: I discovered Laurie Anderson yesterday thannks to Amoeba records. If you ever want to find music, do not go to SPIN, do not go to Pitchfork. Please, go to amoeba.com and watch the "What's In My Bag" clips. I found out about Laurie Anderson through EMA. It sounded like it was missing in my life and this album blew my mind. This is where Imogen Heap comes from.
7. Simon & Garfunkel- Bookends: No exaggeration here, I have listened to this album at least 20 times over the course of the last month. This album is pure musical perfection. Paul Simon's song writing makes me want to melt due to its simplicity, yet beauty. And it makes me want to cry because I could never write like that in a million and one years.
8. Foo Fighters- Foo Fighters: This technically the bands first EP. But, it was entirely recorded by Dave Grohl. It really holds up today. And much like with Wasting Light, it sounds different and better after watching their documentary Back and Forth.
9. Alkaline Trio- Godamnit!: Oh, my rebelious years. This has been with me since like the 8th grade when 89x supplied the soundtrack to my life and I was on a quest to find the loudest of the loud rock music.
10. Bedouin Soundclash- Sounding A Mosaic: Rediscovered this band recently and fell in love with them. This is just a really refreshing album. It is reggae and just awesome.
11. Nat King Cole- The Greatest Of Nat King Cole: Sometimes when you go to thrift stores you find chairs with holes in them. And sometimes you find a 2 LP of Nat King Cole greatest hits compilation vinyl for 50 cents.
12. Panic! At The Disco- Vices & Virtures: I still can not rap my head around the fact that has been going on five months since I saw them live in June. Amazing concert and I have been re-visiting this album off and on ever since.
13. The Small Faces- Odgen Nut Gone Flake: More people need to listen to this album. On the the absolute greatest albums ever. Please, please buy this, download this, steal this. Do whatever you have to in order to listen to this album.
14. The Films- Oh, Scorpio: Perks of being a Music Director for a radio station right here at its finest. Really good alternative album. Probably good be pretty big amongst the hipster faithful it has that quality to it. Plus, nobody has never heard of them for the most part. If you are a hipster reading this, well, Merry Christmas.
15. Syd Barret- The Madcap Laughs: Funny story about a personal experience with this album... Last year I feel asleep with this album playing and I had a dream that I was a lollipop on a shelf in a Walgreens living amongst other lollipops. Yup.
16. Elvis Costello- Armed Forces: I am pretty sure this was with the Attractions as well. But, regardless I actually listened to this album all the way through for the first time two days ago and I was really blown away by it. I never thought too much about Mr. Costello. But, now I do.
17. Dire Straits- Making Movies: Now that I have a girlfriend I have an excuse to listen to lovey-dovey music. I mean, I did before. But, at least now I have an excuse. Mark Knopfler is an extraordinary song writer. This album in itself could pass as a mix-tape. It has in my opinion one of the greatest love songs ever on it. (Romeo and Juliet)
18. Tony Bennett- Duets II: Tony Bennett is bar none a freak of nature. His voice at his age is still the same it was in the '70s. Absolutely insane. I really enjoyed his first duets comp. and this one was no different. Plus, it had another song with Michael Buble. Bonus.
19. Joy Division- Unknown Pleasures: Why in the hell I did not purchase this at Best Buy when I had the chance, I have no clue. It was a vinyl re-print for only 13 smack-a-roos and it came with a poster. I am an idiot.
20. Blood Sugar Sex Magik- You do not know how close I was to starting this off with "...It was twenty years ago today..." But, I came to my better senses and did not do that. But, regardless it has been twenty years to the day that this fancy little album dropped. Since then, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have cemented themselves as one the best rock acts around. This was the record that really shot them into the ears of many people. And the videos for both Under The Bridge and Give It Away got them alot of airplay on MTV and they have not looked back since. I would love to see this band live.

Witty Things I Thought Of At Brad Penny's Expense

I hate Brad Penny. This is fact. I like to make fun of Brad Penny. This is also fact. Come, read things I just thought of while being mad at Brad Penny. And if you would like, you can make fun of him too. Just leave your best Brad Penny quips as a comment. This could be one giant Brad Penny hating thread/meme. I just started crying tears of joy.

Well, here they are:

Everytime a hitter against Brad Penny swings, an angel gets his wings... and that hitter probably got an RBI.

Everytime Verlander pitches, he could throw a no-hitter. Everytime Brad Penny pitches, that could never happen.

They call a Gordie Howe hat-trick a goal, an assit, and a fight. A Brad Penny complete game is the third inning.

Brad Penny avoids the strike-zone like he avoids the fifth inning.

Jeremy Bonderman called, and even he said giving up six runs in an inning is too much.

Before people used to say "A penny for your thoughts", but Detroiters now know the saying is " A Penny for a start... yeah, we lost"

We found Osama before he found the strike zone.

Stevie Wonder once listened to a Brad Penny game on the radio and said, "Thank God I am blind, so I don't have to see this."

A MetroPCS contract is lower than his ERA.

Brad Penny gives away runs like Oprah gives away cars.

Brad Penny makes 3,000,000 dollars this year. I just threw up.

Segue... When Brad Penny throws, his ERA goes up. See what I did there?

In Soviet Russia they don't even pitch Brad Penny.

Things I would do for 3,000,000 dollars: Quite a bit.
Things Brad Penny does for 3,000,000 dollars: Not pitch well.

Brad Penny looks like that one guy from Color Me Badd:
http://images.usatoday.com/life/_photos/2005/08/26/abrams.jpg

That just made you laugh, didn't it?

Dave Dombrowski, every other team in Major League Baseball just called and they just thanked you... What with signing Brad Penny... Sooo they did not have to. Get it?

And the first Brad Penny thing I ever wrote:

If Brad Penny were a magician, he'd be a shitty magician too.

That's all I got so far.

Ahhh. I just thought of another one: The Tiger's bail out Penny more than Obama bails out Wall Street.

Zinger.

Realizations Watching The 2011 Video Music Awards On MUSIC TELEVISION.

Oh, hey. Why did you have Music Television is all capital letters? I did it on purpose to add emphasis.

Oh, hey. What is Music Television? Exactly.

The fact that the station formerly known as Music Televison and now just named MTV (an empty acronym)
http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-02-09/entertainment/27055750_1_mtv-logo-tina-exarhos-iconic-logo. (See, I did not just say that for the sake of sounding like a scorned person.) Still has the Video Music Awards (VMA's) is the biggest double-edged sword of irony on television.

The obvious elephant in the room is that MTV is no longer "music television". It rarely emphasizes music videos any more. The only music that viewers get is that thing at the bottom that tells you what artist's song is playing while LC drives off in the finale of the Hills.

That is about it.

But, as for music videos. Well, we have Youtube now.

Nonetheless, I heard quite a bit of hoopla about the VMA's this year. So, when I was playing blink the channels today, I saw it was on and figured I would see what all the fuss was about.

I was able to watch fifteen minutes or so it.

It was that bad.

I first tuned in when Lady Gaga got best female video. She made another bold fashion move, by dressing up as a man.

People say that Lady Gaga is an artist who pushes the envelope with her fashion "statements" so to speak. Others feel that she does it strictly for the publicity and getting her name out there when no one is talking about her, or so she can over shadow other artists.

I was in the bandwagon of saying she was an artist. But, after this, I definitely have to say that she does it for the attention.

Dressing up as a man in 2009 would have been a "statement". Because that is when the rumors of her being a man where circulating. If she did this at the 2009 VMA's it would have been a huge middle finger to all the tabloids. It would have her saying, "So, you want a picture of me a guy, boom here it is."

But, in 2011 it is saying, "My album sales are not doing too good, Nicki Minaj is starting to grab a hold of the multiple personality/character shtick, and I need people talking about me again."

What to they always say in show business?

Timing is everything

****

The other thing that got my attention was the tribute to Amy Whinehouse.

Russell Brand's speech was touching. Because, he actually knew her and was friends with her. It was incredibly touching.

Bruno Mars' performance however was not.

(Get uspet and angry now)

The performance of the song would have been great. If it was actually an Amy Whinehouse song.

But, Valerie was an Amy Whinehouse song, Aaron!

Yeah, it was.

But, it was a song by the Zutons before. Amy Whinehouse just covered it.

And to play the asshole card here, they really could not of had anyone sing her biggest song "Rehab" for the obvious reason. But, they could have gone with Back To Black, You Know I'm No Good, or my personal favorite of Amy's, Me & Mr. Jone's. Or at least a song that was distinctfully hers. A song that has her stamp on it. A song that people will says for years to come, "Oh, yeah. That is that Amy Whinehouse song."

I am not being an asshole, I am actually trying to get to the point that MTV did not do Amy Whinehouse justice.

There I said it.

I do however have to question people who say she will have a lasting impact on music. Just because she is grouped in the "27 Club".

People said after Amy Whinehouse died, that there would never be another "Amy Whinehouse". But, there kind of already is. And in my mind a better one.

Her name is Adele.

****

That is about all of the VMA's I could take.

I realized that they went without a host this year, which would have worked, if the artists were actually entertaining.

Oh, hey look what I found on Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cw6xesXLIAA

Man, to think that we have a 24 hour a day, television channel that plays your favorite artist's videos. IN STEREO (if available of course).

What a cracker jack ide.....

Wait.

That was Music Telvevision. Excuse me, that was MTV.

Because, that sad excuse of an award show that I just watched would have never aired on Music Television.

What is so wrong with going 50/50?

12 hours of music videos and 12 hours of the shows that MTV calls reality television.

From 12 a.m.-12 p.m.: Music Television- a twelve hour block of music video's and music programming.
From 12 p.m.-12 a.m.: MTV- a twelve hour block of original MTV programming (ex: Jersey Shore, The Challenge, etc.)

Now, I want that MTV!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SMcd6BZFtE

I Thought Of This In The Shower... This Pretty Much Explains Wall Street... I Think.

Okay, this is either going to make all the sense in the world, or this is just going to be a stream of conscious idea that contains enough malarky, that if harnessed and used probably could provide enough power for a relatively small country, due to the gaseous spew coming from my mouth. Actually, in this case fingers. Since this gaseous spew is coming out of my fingers, I just probably get that checked out.

Anyways, I think I figured out Wall Street. More importantly, I figured out the "mystique" of Wall Street.

I realized that Wall Street is a lot like this...

Picture a scene at a campfire. There are people sitting around this fire, together. All is well, and nothing is going wrong and in the minds of the people at the campfire, nothing can go wrong. Then one of the people picks up a flash-light and they begin to tell a story. You can say that this person who tells the story at the fire is either a person who works on Wall Street or is one of the financial "experts" on Wall Street, or who make appearances on all the news shows claiming to know all about Wall Street.

This person with the flashlight (people on Wall Street) begin to tell a tale to any one who will listen around the campfire. But, the problem is, they do not know the story themselves. They are more or less making it up as they go along. They can tell that the people around the fire are not scared, so they sensationalize and exaggerate the story. Even though they know everything they are saying is a lie.

But, some people at the fire believe them. The person with the flash light says that there is an evil axe murder in the woods and some of the people believe them. The person with the flash light says that they are not safe and some of the people believe them. The person with the flash light continues to go on and on because they have spotted the gullible people at the fire.

So, they begin to make the story more intricate. They begin to add more plot twists and fear. They warn of what could happen to people who go in the woods. To the point of completely detouring people from going into the woods, even if those people really wanted to.

They tell them what part of the woods is safe, what parts of the woods that no one will hurt them. They tell them of "safe" parts. Parts that one one could ever find them in, and protect them from the evil axe murderer.

But, at the same fire there are the people who can sense that the person telling the story is making things up. They can see and hear that the person with the flash light has no clue as to what they are talking about.

They try to convince the others that the story is a lie.

But, all the others are brainwashed.

They believe that everything in the story is true.

Even though it confuses them.

*********

At the next fire, the people who believed in the story began to share it with a new group of people. The only problem was, was that they forgot exactly how the story went. They too began to make up the story as they went along. To the point that it was a completely different story.

Instead of an axe murderer, it was now a bear that would take their tents and food.

And some people believed them. While others still could sense that the story was a lie.

In fact these people who did not believe the story began to ask questions.

They questioned the story tellers on the exactly what happens when the bear gets to them.

One person at the fire said that he was there before and knew that was not how the story went.

The story tellers became very anxious and concerned. They were afraid that the jig was up and they would be exposed as liars.

That there was no axe murder or stealing bear.

But, before they were almost about to be held accountable for their actions. Just before they were going to tell the truth.

The brainwashed people at the fire wanted them to continue the story.

They wanted to hear more.

They found themselves enthralled with the story to the point that they could not even separate themselves from it.

You can almost say that situation, those brainwashed people bailed the people with the flashlight out.