Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Note I Got From My Grandma Today

I had to use Rosetta Stone: Grandma to try and read this:

Dear Aaron,


Grandma had some luck at bingo. I am sending you a check for $45.00 to share the wealth. I won $331.00 dollars. How are you? We had 4 inches of snow Saturday. Did you get any? Is everything going okay for you, Aaron? I miss you. Aaron send in all your resumes now so they get them early on, so you have some good luck. Take care of yourself. May God bless you. 


Love You,
Grandma


Let me know when you get the check.

God, I love that woman.

My grandma is better is better than your grandma.




Monday, February 13, 2012

I Am (Still) Lucky

You know, I am lucky.

I am not the luckiest, but I am lucky.

I am 19 in college, going for a degree in something I love to do, have my family support in that. Hell, I have a family to support me.

I am lucky.

It is not everyday that your son says that they want to pursue a degree in Creative Writing and as a parent you say, "Go for it!" as opposed to saying, "What kind of doctor did you say?" But, nevertheless I have parents who actually support me in that. I have parents who are curious about what I write, who actually say with a degree of confidence to other people that I am a writer, and I have a grandma who always asks me where I come up with all that stuff.

I have a brother who is my role model and best friend. A guy who has a kidney surgery and one of the first things he tells me is that the only thing he was worried about before the surgery was me. I have that type of person in my life. Someone who I can talk to on a daily basis on the phone while I am at school, hang up afterwords and realize that I just spent 45 minutes with him talking about Ghostbusters, Batman, and Nelson Cruz.

I have a mom and dad who would do anything for me. I know that because I am at SVSU. I do not have to be, and I really shouldn't be. But, because of them I am.

I have a dad who I can spend simple father and son time with watching a George Harrison documentary or by talking about how we would have handled Custer's Last Stand if we were George Custer. A dad who has a subtle humor and can teach a person the importance of bow-sawing techniques... even if they come after a half inch gash has occured. Someone who I tricked into saying, "I love you" first today before I hung up. Gotcha, dad.

I have a mom who works her ass off. Never for herself though. Always for someone else. Who is there with something to make me laugh even if I do not want to. "Here do not forget my handicap sticker... I guess those do come in handy, get it?" Someone who always just happens to have planned all my favorite meals when I am home. Someone who posts Facebook statti bragging about me. Making me actually feel like I am doing something right.

I have a family on my dad's side and on my mom's side that I love dearly. Who believe in me too. Who I can go garage saleing... excuse me, junking with. Who post songs on my Facebook wall just because they think I might like them or try to convince that the Lions are good. Who offer me rides to go see my brother. Who help keep me inspired.

I have a girlfriend.

Yeah, me. I have a girlfriend. And god, is she beautiful. She has a smile that makes me fall into an endless loop of love with her. And I do not even care. She likes Louis Armstrong. She sends me individual bags of candy with little notes that would be the cutest thing ever, if not for her. Who looks over at me while I am driving and smiles and thinks I do not see it, but I do. Who texts me exactly as I am writing this about her and says she does not want to ruin my creative flow. Yeah, that girl is mine.

How did I get this lucky?

I have no clue.










Sunday, February 12, 2012

I Guess I Am Going To Start Doing This Again

Look, it just snowed.

I am in college. It is mid-winter. I am bored. So I might as well start this up again. I got a fancy new layout and Tweets and everything.

Still do not know why I am doing this, but I am.

Eh, I give it till tomorrow until I forget about this again.

Friday, February 10, 2012

You Look Like You Need Some (More) Music

Spotify, man.

  1. Tom Waits- Closing Time: Listen to this when it is a cold day. Once you do that, I only have one thing to say to you. You are welcome.
  2. AM Gold Comp CD's- Various Artists: I got a bunch of these at the library here at SVSU today. I got every one from 1965-1969. So much good pop music.
  3. Steve Martin- A Wild And Crazy Guy: Possibly, no. It is my favorite comedy album of all time. Quite a bit of it still holds up today. It is just very smart-stupid humor. This is when Steve Martin was like the most popular comedian in the world.
  4. Neutral Milk Hotel- In An Aeroplane Over The Sea: This album should be more important than Nevermind. Boom. I just said that. I love this album. My friend John showed this two me last year and it is one of those albums that changes your life.
  5. The Shins- Chutes Too Narrow: I have listened to the Shins catalog since I listened to them perform a cover of Breathe on Late Night. It left me speechless. I listened to this album first, because sometimes when I listen to the Shins I do not want to hear New Slang or Caring Is Creepy. If that makes sense.
  6. The New Pornographers- Twin Cinema: I vividly remember one morning when I was in 8th grade. I was on the way to school, I was listening 89x, and the song Use It was on. There was a pen in the car. So, I wrote New Pornographers- Use It on my hand. Therefore, I had the words "New Pornographers" on my hand all day. Gotta love going to SIJ.
  7. The Kinks- The Kinks: Every time I listen to the Kinks I get a new favorite Kinks song. This time it is Beautiful Delilah. Why does this band not get its rightful due? It is baffling.
  8. fun- Aim & Ignite: I l-o-v-e this band. Brendon Urie (lead singer of Panic! At The Disco) said that fun. was the most appropriately named band ever. And that is the truth. I saw them last summer by shear happenstance and they absolutely blew me away. They have a new single called "We Are Young" that is now being used for Chevy commercials now too.
  9. Bill Burr- Let It Go: Probably one of my favorite comedians right now. He was used sparingly in the today show. He was one of the announcers for the "World Series of Dice Throwing" sketch and his stand-up is amazingly hilarious. Very Louis CK-ish. Just a normal fella talking about his crazy day to day thoughts.
  10. A Tribe Called Quest- The Low End Theory: This album is absolute perfection. One of the greatest hip-hop albums ever created. The. End.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

This Is What They Did Wrong...

Alright, before everyone jumps off the wagon (oph, there was the last one). Let me say one thing: This technically is not over. Unless game five ends with Texas having more runs, this is not over.

Having said that, this series could and should be tied at two games a piece. I can not say that any more concise, black and white, cut and dry, etc.

The game game down to the last four innings, that is when you know it is a good, ney, great game. Because, that is when you not only have the players trying to place themselves in baseball record books. But, that is when the managers really have to micro-manager games. The last four or three innings of a game is when you really see what a manager is made of.

Now, I really have to put aside my opinion of Jim Leyland here. And even with my already less than savory or positive view on his managerial skills, I can say he was one of two people to cost the Tigers this game.

Not Gene Lamont sending Cabrera.

Not Valverde giving up that Home Run.

I can say that this game and lose boiled down to two people:

Leyland and Cabrera.

Now, Cabrera did give the Tigers the lead and two RBIs early on. But, he cost the Tigers their most important run. He weighs at least 240 pounds. I would not be surprised if it is more like 255. He at least has a 20-30 pound difference with Napoli.

It is game five of the ALCS, you are tied in the 8th, you are at home, you are down in the series 2-1, you are supposed to be a leader on this team.

You run that catcher over.

I do not care if he gets fined, I do not care if Napoli holds on.

You still run the catcher over.

Cabrera should be smart enough to know that he was going to be beat. He should have known half-way down the line that he was going to go into him.

In my mind that cost the Tigers the game.

All the momentum, all the energy, all the more runs than the Rangers. Gone.

And do not pin that play on Gene Lamont. He had to send him. It was bottom of the 8th and it was the best chance for the Tigers to score. You can argue otherwise, but how many people have they left on base? And you had Martinez on first. Who you could also argue is maybe the second slowest runner on the team.

That was Cabrera.

Now, this is what Leyland did wrong:

First, he chose to send Jackson for one of the first times this off-season right in the bottom of the 10th. Jackson should have been on second, not for the reason that he may or not of actually been out. But, because of the fact that he should be more of a runner. Leyland should have him steal more. Jackson should know what to do in that situation, and not have to think, "Oh, god. I have to steal now". He just have ice in his veins in that situation. He just of had that base. Yes, you can blame Jackson or the Ump. Because, we all know the Umps cost the Tigers every game (sarcasm). But, that is on Leyland. For the sole reason of not having Jackson personally comfortable in that situation.

Second, he intentionally walked someone who was 0-4 with two strike-outs, and was injured. Why? I do not know.

Third, he put in Valverde in a non-save situation. All people who know Valverde, know non-save situation Valverde is akin to a lose. And tonight was no different.

Leyland made many moves and decisions that I thought were detrimental to the Tigers. In sort, I think we found out what kind of manager he really is.

Let me leave with these two numbers that drive that point home.

26 and 6.95

26- How many games Valverde pitched in non-save situations in the regular season.

6.95- His ERA from those 26 apperances.

6.95....

Friday, October 7, 2011

"...Rock Me Mama Like A Wagon Wheel..."

Look, if you are going to be a Tiger's fan now, you should at least get a crash course in how to be a Tigers fan.

Do not try to hide now.

You are very easy to spot.

You were the person wearing the Ben Wallace afro in 2004. Who had a signed spelt: "FEAR THE FROWW!!". True story, I saw a guy with that sign. You were also the person in 2006 who bought a Joel Zumaya jersey. You were the person who made the Tigers finish last in 2008. You were the person in 2011 who defended Jimmy Howard and called him "The greatest goalie ever".

Again, you are very easy to spot.

So, let me help you not get challenged to a duel by an actual fan, by cracking a small egg of knowledge for you the Tiger fan who was a Tiger fan in 2008 because of Miguel Cabrera, left half-way in 2008 because they were in last place, and then came back two days ago because, hey-ho-whatta-ya-know the Tigers are back in the playoffs again.

Guess what.

They did this five years... to the Yankees. Well, at least five years ago they were about to close it out at home.

Yes, that was a subtle jab at the Tigers for that 10-1 display in game four.

But, after tonight, that point is moot.

If you want to be a fan DO NOT:

- Post exaggeratory statii on Facebook. Example: "Oh my god. Don Kelly is like the greatest player ever! :)". Even with his home-run tonight, Tiger fans will still look at you dead in the eye and say, "No. Dear god, no".

- Buy apparel of players on a hot-streak. Everytime I see people with Boesch, Dirks (Yes, I saw a guy with an Andy Dirks jersey T-shirt today. Could not tell if I was more surprised in the person for buying one, or for Majestic for even making them.), and or Avila jersey I want to troll them. BUT AARON, AVILA IS AN ALL-STAR CATCHER!! Yeah, just to make sure we are on the same page, Avila existed last year too. And last year he could not even beat out Gerald Laird for the starting catcher position. So, shut up.

- Post statii negating all accomplishments the Tigers made if they get knocked out. Example: "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The Tigers suck. Valverde sucks. Way to go!!!!!!!!!!!" I really do not want to waste energy describing my view on this.

- Tell me that their pitching totally sucks. Only Brad Penny. Do the names Matt Perisho, Mark Redmond, Jeff Weaver and or Dave Milicki ring a bell? Well, for the bandwagon fan probably not. But, for a person who knew the Tigers of the '90s or early '00s just had 'Nam flashbacks, because they thought they never had to see those names again.

- Do not tell me that Jose Valverde is the most entertaing pitcher in Tigers history. Jose Lima. Rest in peace, you crazy m'fer.

- Do not say that Magglio is worthless. Would you rather have Robert Fick in right field. Sorry for another 'Nam flashback.

I know there are more things. But, I am getting too angry thinking about them.

But, let me say this:

Please do not ruin this for us. For the love of Allah, please do not ruin this for us.

Ten years ago are deadline deals involved trading away Jose Macias to Montreal for Chris Truby and three used baseballs.

Now we can actually be proud of the Tigers. Just give us this moment. You had 2008 and you ruined it. All of it.

So, let us real Tiger fans rejoice in our second trip to the ALCS in six seasons. For us Tiger fans this is a big-deal. If you told me in 2002 that the Tigers would be in the ALCS twice over the next ten years, I would have thought you were stupid.

Or high.

Or stupid high.

And for some of your parents who may be saying that the Tigers of this year were nothing compared to those of 1984 or 1968. Well, they are right.

But, that is a whole different lesson for a different day.


Monday, September 26, 2011

Possible Titles For The Sequel To Finding Nemo

Will and I talk about random stuff.

Today was no different. We started talking about Pixar movies, specifically Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo and how they were making sequels of them apparently.

I did not get how they could make a sequel to Finding Nemo on account of... them finding him.

But, nevertheless here are some potential movie titles for the sequel to Finding Nemo...

Oh, none of these are really that funny. But, you will read it anyway. Cause you are awesome...

Finding Nemo 2: FOUND HIM!

Finding Nemo 2: Shit, We Lost Him Again.

Finding Nemo 2: I Swear To God He Was Just Here A Second Ago.

Finding Nemo 2: Polo.. You see Marco Polo Is An Aquatic.. Nevermind.

Finding Nemo 2: Pixar Will Make A Sequel For All Of Their Franchises. Cars?

Tyler Perry's I Can Find Nemo All By Myself

Finding Nemo 2+1= 3D!!!!!!!!

Finding Nemo 2: ...Maybe He Swam Away This Time.

Finding Nemo 2: Two Many Fish In The Sea (Get it? It is a play on words)

Finding Nemo 2: Ha-Ha-Nanny-Boo-Boo, We Got A Sequel Shark Tale

Finding Nemo 2: Bigger Jaws (Yeah, Family Guy Joke)

Finding Nemo 2: Adventerous Little Fish, Isn't He?

Finding Nemo 2: Because Ellen Degeneress and Brad Garrett Need Something To Do

Tyler Perry's I Can Get Lost Again All By Myself

Tyler Perry's Why Did I Lose Nemo

(Seriously just choose a word or two and apply it to a Tyler Perry movie. Works everytime. It is like the Seven Degrees Of Kevin Bacon, except it is the One Degree Of Really Shitty Movies).

Finding Nemo 2: How To Lose A Fish (Again) In Ten Days

Finding Nemo 2: The Dark Fish Rises (BATMAN!!!)

Finding Nemo 2: No, This Is Actually A Theatrical Release. What? You Thought This Was Straight To DVD? Me Too... Me Too.

Finding Nemo 2: Wait, You Mean I Have To Sit In A Theatre With A Bunch Of Loud Kids Again? Pass. Super Pass. Uber Pass.

Finding Nemo 2: Why Did They Never Make A Sequel To A Bug's Life? I Enjoyed That Movie.

Finding Nemo 2: Nemo! Nemo? Damn, I Have To Find Him Again.