Full On Capuano

Today in my creative writing class, I was able to say something I have not been able to say for awhile. And it felt amazing. That phrase was, "I just pulled a full on Capuano when I was writing this."


Now to rewind the clock six years and to how this phrase came to be. This glorious phrase was born in the hallways of Harper Woods Notre Dame High School. There was a scholastic competition amongst many catholic grade schools. Every competition was divided up by subject and each individual person only competed in one subject (English, Math, Music, etc.)


And SIJ went all out to represent themselves in the English./Writing competition. It was Sam Eovaldi, John Capuano, and Me.


We had a prompt to write about. And that prompt was "Decisions, What was the toughest decision you have had to make so far in your life?"


I wrote about baseball, I forgot what Sam wrote about, but John unleashed a great Capuanoism when I asked him what he wrote about. And to this day I remember his response verbatim.


"I could think of a tough decision I have had to make, so I wrote about how the toughest decision I had to make was deciding what to write about for my toughest decision."


When he said that I literally thought it was the most genius thing I had ever heard in my life. I also laughed my ass off.


Sadly, Cappy did not win. 


He really should have though.


And funny John Capuano moments are like White Castle burgers. You just can not have one.


So I will share a few other moments in which John Capuano made me laugh to the point of tears.


Here are my top three Capuano moments:


3.) One time during SIJ lunch Bill was making note of the attractiveness of John's sister. John asked him to stop. Bill did not. John then lunged like a fricking Gazelle over a lunch table and tackled Bill demanded he shut up.


2.) At I think it was Jackie's like 13th Birthday party, there was a bunch of people out in the backyard around the bonfire. And John was fresh off of reading the Da Vinci Code and he would not stop talking about church and government conspiracies. And the Discovery Channel.


1.) In 9th grade I got in a "tift" with some people from Lakeview. Well, one person in particular then it morphed into "my friends" vs. "them" I was still at De La Salle, and my friend Bill wanted to go to the Lakeview football game one week after I got in a fight with one of the guys. The one thing I told him was, "If someone says your name, do not even acknowledge them." Sure as shit the first thing Bill does when he hears his name is turn around and go, "Huh!" 


After that it was on so to speak. We bailed quick. And we comically chased. And the whole entire time this was happening Capuano was on the phone with his sister and she was telling him that everyone in the stands could see us running away. To which John said, "Are you serious! I can not go to school on Monday now! This is so fucking embarassing, I am going to get so much shit for this."


This is why I miss Johnny Boy.


And I was proud I got to pull a full on Capuano in his honor today.


But nobody can do them like John.