Oh! The Things You Will Post On Frank's Facebook Wall...

There are few things I pride myself in, useless knowledge, memorization of all 50 state capitals, my record collection and family tradition. But there is one thing above all those that I really take pride in. And that is posting the most obscenely random jibbery-joo and my friend Frank's wall.

The logic behind the posts involve no logic at all, and I more or less post random stuff because Francois has just the right amount of no sense of humor.

I even went as far as to post a Facebook event that encouraged other friends to post random stuff on his wall. He got over 1200 notifications that day. Success.

Now as I look back on all the stuff I posted on Frank's wall, I feel as if I want to publish them as a coffee book or children's story entitled "Oh The Things You Will Post On Frank's Facebook Wall"

And here would be just a few of those selections:

Frank do who know where Phil got his PhD?


Frank do you want to go to Kokomo... Because you could get there fast and then take it slow. That is if that's where you want to go.


Frank do you think that bears ask other bears, "Do people piss in toilets?" when there is an obvious answer to the said question?


Frank is it legistically possible for ghosts to play tag?


Frank do blind people play charades?


Frank why in the fuck did Star Wars start backwards?


Frank does Kobe Bryant shout out Kobe when he throws away paper at the office?


Frank do you think Santa has to write a note to himself if he wants something for Christmas, better yet Frank, what if he really wanted a big screen T.V. or a Wii Fit, so he writes the note to himself and then he finds out he is on the naughty list. Frank if Santa Claus is on the naughty list what kind of example is that for Osama Bin Laden?


Frank do you think the game of tick-tack-toe would have been as popular if you had to play with bear traps, ill-tempered King Cobras... and your left foot?


Frank I just heard the funniest joke... Alright let's see if I can say this one right. Ok so there is a bar and then a bear comes in and says to the bartender, "Hey can I have a beer?" And the bartender says, "Holy shit BEAR RUN RUN WHO WOULD LET A BEAR IN A BAR THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF THE JOKE IS COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC!" Needless to say the bear got angry and mauled and killed errr one. Makes you think twice about peeing in the shower eh Frank... Because that same bear could be there I swear.


Franklin "Jazzy Tambourine McGreen" Berardi... If that is even your real nickname. I played racquetball with a guy wearing sunglasses the other day. I would serve the ball, but he would not swing his racquet. So I said to the fellow, "Are you going to hit the ball back?" And the man in sunglasses replied, "I do not know where I am, I am blind." It was at that moment that I realized that the man did not have a racquet or proper racquet ball apperal (Mr. T T-shirt, tropical bathing suit, and the will power to win.) and it dawned on me that this man was blind. I just thought he was an asshole for wearing his sunglasses indoors. Bono?


Frank one day I was talking to a cat. He was pretty adamant that he wanted to be in a fish bowl. I said to him, "For the sake of a Mike Myers movie, you should live in a hat." Needless to say countless Dr. Seuss books and some odd Mike Myers movies later I realized that damn cat took my idea. Do not even get me started on Shawshank Redemption.


Frank-tastic I met a girl who's name was Unique. Turns out she was just like any person ever. She did not have wings, or speak Pig Latin just because she could. I was a tad let down. Her last name was Yetbland though, so it made sense. I actually thought her whole name being a play on words was pretty unique. Holy shit. I get it now.


Frank I tried to join a black fraternity, they said I was white, I shouted out Tupac, Two days later I got inducted. Thug Life.


Frank how do deaf people know if they got a BINGO?


Frank the chicken crossed the road beacause he got bad directions from the hen.


Frank, If a polar can not decide if he is a Grizzly bear or a polar bear is he considered a Bi-Polar Bear?


Frank, Alright Frank there is a priest, a prostitute, and Adam West at a bar. I do not know how the joke ends. But, I know they were there.


Frank, I went to the car dealership and asked the salesman for a Harrison Ford or a Chevy Chase. He said that they were not cars, but they were fine actors. I was under the assumption that they were cars.


Frank, I was standing in front of a fire exit and then the fire exit caught on fire. This is why they should have a "Not On Fire Exit" door.


Frank, I am going to name my cat Woof.


FRAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNK, Is it appropriate to yell movie in a crowded firehouse?


Pandas like bamboo not rice Frank... I mean honestly, how would they cook it?


Frank, I drew a picture of a tree on my arms and now the leaves are falling off because it is too cold out, should I be concerned?


I definitely think I could this published or use it as a stand up routine. 


Where would my life be without Frank's Facebook wall?