Bears Are The Sharks Of Land. Think About It. This Is Fact.

The title of this entry was a facebook status I posted yesterday I believe. This being a day after I had a conversation will my room mate Will, and had the epiphany that bears were indeed the sharks of land. A 10 minute or so debate then ensued over other sea to land crossovers. And that discussion was fun. But not as fun as the one I got into with my friend Sam, on facebook over this same subject.

The following is the actual transcript of my facebook status. Credit also goes to my Mom, Uncle Pat, and Caroline, Sam and Chad for also contributing to the randomness and taking a conversation that was going nowhere somewhere.

Status: Bears are the sharks of the land. Think about it. This is fact.


"Chad: Food for thought.


Me: Indeed


Caroline: I'm more afraid of sharks than I am of bears. I can hear bears coming.


Sam: which raises the age old question which one would win in a fight. (3 feet of water for those who are curious)


Me: What kind of shark/bear. Location. And weather conditions please.


Caroline: yeah, "European or African?"


(Side note I just Caroline's Monty Python reference and I had to go back and like her comment on Facebook)


Sam: North Australian Male Great White Shark (Carcharodon carcharias) versus a Male Mid Western Grizzly Bear (Ursus arctos horriblis). Both specimens are at peak of maturity and growth. It is a record breaking lightning storm for dramatic effect.


Caroline: In only 3 ft of water, the shark wouldn't stand a chance


Me: Well in that case lightning strikes about 80 feet away. Both animals go blind. Whale swoops in. Killing both. Draw.


Caroline: I like this story, Aaron...you should write it up :)


Uncle Pat: Aaron.....you hav an amazingly creative mind


Sam: now hold on now, 3 feet of water is just enough for the shark to swim around and the bear to stand. As for the whales well they might have trouble swimming


Me: It is a baby whale.


Uncle Pat: A polar bear would take any of the above mentioned in a fight.


Sam: whales are passive-agressive attacking only for prey (which both subjects are not) or when threatened which would not occur in three feet of water ( way out of whales habitat)


Me: Whale then.


(Side note: that was intended to be a sarcastic play on words instead of saying, "Well then."


Sam: the assumption that polar > grizzly is another much more debated topic.


Sam: Aaron discrediting by distraction is ineffective your getting off topic.


Uncle Pat: What if a hippo was involved in this?


Caroline: How 'bout the Loch Ness Monster?


Caroline: Whales also play with their prey, like cats...it would be fun to watch.


Sam: this battle at kruger scenario is out of hand. Its no longer a debate but a free for all. Good day


My Mom: what if mike ditka took on the shark, the whale and THE bear ?


Me: Ditka wins.


My Mom: Touche!"


.... And end scene.