Okay, I love Pawn Stars as much as the next guy. Dare I say, I actually learn stuff when I watch it. But I am not afraid to say that the show is faker than Rebecca Black's career.
First look at Chumlee. Who would trust that man? He looks like Barney and Snorlax did the naughty bits and bore a child. Then the doctor ashamed of exposing the Earth to such a creature tried to just hide him and forcefully fed him Big Mac's so he only had two options.
1.) Be a Maury baby
2.) Or never get off a couch ever.
I really felt the doctor put all his eggs in one basket with option two. But some how Chumlee got a job at a Pawn Shop. And how? I do not care if he a family friend. If Chumlee was my family friend he would be exactly that. I would not think, "Hey, I should really get this guy involved with expensive things." Because I would be too concerned that he would try to eat one of those things. Costing me thousands of dollars.
Plus, I do not think he knows he exists. Or knows how to add. Or properly breathe. Have you heard him breathe? Good lord. It is like he is snoring, but he is awake. And you want to say something to him, but you kind of just cock your head and stare in amazement at such an amoebic creature.
Secondly, Rick is so damn nonchalant over everything that comes into it his shop. A person could walk in with Big Foot's last bowel movement autographed by Jesus and Enrique Inglesias, and he will act like he sees it all the time and knows everything about it. And he will always know everything about the item, except for the price.
Which leads me to my third thing that proves that Pawn Stars is malarky...
Rick has an expert for everything. A person could walk in with a Victorian Era Gold Plated Dildo operated with water turbines and he would have an expert for that. "Look I know this guy who specializes in gold plated water turbine operated Victorian Era dildos. I could give him a call and have him come in." That is exactly what he would say.
Now to exacerbate my thoughts on the gold plated dildo expert. How do you fit that on a business card? "Oh, I specialize in car restoration. But, you know if you have a spare Victorian dildo around the house I am your guy."
Okay, we are done with that.
And when ever the expert comes in, they make Rick look the ass. Everything that Rick thinks is fake is usually the thing that makes the object valuable. "Oh, the barrel looks like rust to me Dale." And the expert will say, "Actually no, if you look closely that is tobacco spit from Abraham Lincoln. This could go in auction anywhere from 6 dollars to the price of the country of Spain."
Then Rick gets that look. Where he knows he was just played like Charlie Daniel's fiddle on the fourth of July.
Fourthly, what Pawn Shop looks like that? You go to a Pawn Shop by me these will be the items in that store:
Guitar with two strings and a rubber band.
Christian vinyl records.
VHS of Jungle Book.
A stereotypical Italian or Albanian store owner.
An autograph of Mickey Mantle that the owner is really adamant is "the" Mickey Mantle. Though it was clearly signed by the store owner's cousin.
And the keys to a '64 Mustang... Not the keys and car. Just the keys.
And Playboys from the '80s.
Now that is a Pawn Shop that deserves a T.V. show.
Actually, you couldn't be more wrong. A lot of pawn shops carry expensive old items. I guess you live out in the country. Actually, it is a real pawn shop and a real business. Until you know all the facts, you might want to keep to yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt is meant to satirical. If I talk about how real it is, well then that is not funny. But, if I imagine it as a place that has gold plated dildos. Excuse me, Victorian gold plated dildos. Then I could have fun with it.
ReplyDeleteLol ok i will give u this...he always seems to know everything about everything but did u stop to think that maybe the people bringin these huge expensive items into the shop call before bringin the stuff in? I know if i was selling a Victorian dildo i would call the shop to make sure they will offer a fair price for it instead of lowballin (giggidy)me sayin its only worth the metal its made out of. not all pawn shops deal in old stuff from past wars and such....its obvious why these dudes would though....not only do they wanna make money but they also work in vegas....everyone and their mother goes to vegas to gamble and they would love to turn old shizz they have lyin around from dead relatives into some cash they can use to try and "win it big" and you can get this from almost every single episode that has someone sayin stuff like "heh heh i paid 25 dollars for this harr gun at a flee market....im happy with the amount i got and it should buy me some time at the tables". the next thing is chumlee....hes not as dumb as hes made out to be. in every show theres gotta be the comic relief to cut the tension that builds when waiting to hear bow much that original cockpiece worn by devinci himself....if chum wasnt there it would be someone else that fills in. maybe he doesnt work there full time and only shows up on the show....idk for sure but in the end hes gettin paid for bein there right?? and if u saw the episodes with the shoes and the old boombox and listened to what he said and how his tone and language changed u would get some kinda hint that the retard routine isnt really true. Also rick usually doesnt get specific when saying he has an expert for this and that. if someone brings in an old toy he says i have a buddy that specializes in this kinda stuff or something along those lines....if he does get specific its when referin to the antique arms and armor dude cause yes if someone brings in an original colt from whatever year and he needs an expert and he calls him that guy is an expert in that exact gun....he doesnt say ooo ya hes also an expert in glocks too...and y is that?? well for one the guy isnt sellin a glock is he?? haha for 2....refer to 1 hahaha. I like the show...i try to dvr it whenever i can to watch on rainy days when i cant do shizz outside and it makes good backround noise when workin around the house cause thats the type of show u dont have to actually watch it u can just get away with listening for the hints that tell u OMG somethin interesting is being shown let me stop for a min to see what its worth lol...thats just my opinion though. u could be right too maybe its all bullshit but i rather not think that way or take your arguments into consideration only for the simple fact that you started your argument with a couple paragraph long insult to a member of the show which mostly consisted of u makin fun of his weight or the way he looks which in no way proves anything one way or another and was just plan ridiculous....
ReplyDeleteOh my f'ing god, it is so funny how many people are duped by the reenactments on this show. So many people actually believe that a dumbass vegas pawnstore owner like Rick, his moronic, half dead dad, his pothead high school dropout bully son, and his son's retarded friend are actually talking about the items brought in like they knew it all along and this was just a crazy coincidence that the cameras were rolling when somebody brought in their 1850's matching pair of Abraham and Mary's wedding undergaments, cus who doesn't take something like that to a shitty Vegas pawnshop, I mean that would be the first place I would think of taking some potentially valuable piece of American history..........This show does a few things, it exposes its viewers to some cool pieces of history and it shows that even morons can memorize scripts. Fun times
ReplyDeleteThere is evidence that much of the show is staged:
ReplyDeletehttp://centraltendencies.com/2011/03/pawn-stars-is-fake/
It's still a fun show though. I think they have to stage it, or it would be pretty dull.
I think the son corrie is a spoiled rotten dip shit an would love to break his jaw
ReplyDelete