Just Pick A Song

There is a very serious sickness that has infected most of our youth. A sickness so powerful that is can cause someone to habitually change a song before it's completion. Not once, not twice, not even three times does this normally occur, it occurs in a unit of measurement that Science only delegates to the extreme cases such as this. What is the measurement you ask? Well, it is the scientific unit called a metric F ton. And what it is this sickness you may ask? It is Musical A.D.D.

How do you know if you have it? The tell tale signs of Musical A.D.D. are quite apparent. If you find yourself in a college dormitory and you are blasting any type of music (for the sake of this story let's go with rap that makes Helen Keller fortunate) while your fellow dorm-mates are trying to nap. And instead of sticking with a song that you declare "cold" you go on a tirade of 30 second snipets that even make the bouncing ball go, "I honestly do not know where to go, I got lost after line 'Cool beans, Uhhhh Red Sox.'"

That is the most common scenario of Musical A.D.D., and in many ways that is when Musical A.D.D. is in progressed form. It is almost impossible to recover. But there is hope. I feel that I have come up with a solution to Musical A.D.D. that is so powerful it makes Hulk Hogan weep, knowing it could never be as powerful.

The only problem is this solution to Musical A.D.D. has not been tested yet, but nonetheless I will say it anyway.

My solution to Musical A.D.D. is the pill called "Play the Whole Song" You could take it listening to the radio, your iPod, iTunes, Rhapsody and really any music forum that use when playing music in public.

The only side-effect to "Play the Whole Song" and what has the FDA baffled is, that it does not exist. Why? Because it makes to much sense. I mean if you think about it too long, your brain literally jumps out of your head, grabs it's suitcase and driving hat and just leaves you. Never to return again.

Because how much sense does it make to listen to a whole song? Apparently not enough.

If you declare that a song is a "jam" well then "jam" to it. Do not hop from song to song before the second verse.

That way I do not miss out on lyric gems like, "Not to be grotesque but, Cap'n Crunch."

I want to find out what happens next in that scenario. What is grotesque about said Cap'n Crunch? I mean could the Cap'n have a checkered past? Sure, he is a man of the sea. But are his Crunch Berries grotesque? Quite the opposite actually, they are delicious.

Oh God, their Musical A.D.D. has mutated and supplanted inside my head as actual A.D.D. I can no longer type this entry without thinking about a day in the life of Cap'n Crunch. Odds are it would be glorious. But I digress.

It sounds like I should turn my dorm mates onto some "Play the Whole Song" before it spreads even more.

I heard it does wonders.