Craig and I entered Showtime Detroit, and were greeted by a man who really needs no introduction (but for the sake of story I have to introduce him). We were greeted by the one the only, Showtime Dan.
"Hey don't worry about our doors, they close themselves. What I thought it was funny. God damn, laugh." That were the first words we ever heard him say. And they were enough for me to gauge him as the single coolest person to ever walk the Earth.
"This your first time here... of course it fucking is." He then uttered. Craig and I were just staring in awkward awe. He asked if we were in bands, I of course answered no. But Craig is actually in a couple of bands so he answered yes. Showtime Dan quickly demanded, "Well, take off your shirt and let's try some stuff."
Craig took off his positively 1970's velvet-ish orange shirt, to reveal his Muppet's Abbey Road t-shirt. Which Showtime Dan deemed "The coolest fucking t-shirt ever."
From there Showtime Dan was given things to Craig to try on, and making smart-ass remarks. All the while looking at me and saying, "What the fuck are you looking at." After the personal fashion show concluded, we joked some more and talked shop.
He casually named dropped all the bands that had come through the store, and pointed to a vest and made note that the Rockets bought a few of them. Again Craig and I were just in awkward awe. Then Craig leaned over to me and said, "Get my notebook, I have to interview this guy."
So I ran to Craig's car to grab his notebook and trust me, I ran. Because I did not want to miss anything Showtime Dan had to say. I retrieve the notebook and Craig then revealed he was on a high-school newspaper. And by the look on Showtime Dan's face, you could of swore Craig just said, "Hi, I am Chris Hansen from How to Catch a Predator."
Mood killer.
"Whoa, you guys gotta be 18 to be back here."
But, instead of kicking us out and leaving Craig without an interview he just took us to the check-out area and let Craig interview him.
Craig started off easy by asking him if he knew of Glenn Beck. Which he did. And he asked him he had seen Glenn Beck's rant on Detroit. Which he did. So Craig asked him what he thought about it. His answer, "It's all bullshit... See he has never been to Detroit... He doesn't know what Detroit is about... There is something about the people in Detroit that makes it special, that other cities don't have, he would notice that if he came here."
Then he looked up and gave the quote that every journalist prays for. The attention grabber. The one that pulls together the whole story. The quote that MAKES the story. And that quote was, "You know what, Glenn Beck can fucking suck my dick man." Craig and I once again looked on in awkward amazement. Then Showtime Dan pointed at Craig's notebook and he said, "You can print that."
After the interview, Showtime Dan chatted with us some more and told us a story about people coming back to Detroit. "You know people are coming back after twenty or so years after going to school here and are coming to my store for the first time, and they are saying 'Oh we never knew this store existed.' And I just say of course you didn't cause there all fucking lame."
Craig and I then thanked him for making this the greatest moment of our collective lives and grabbed business cards on the way out.
And all I could think about was what Showtime Dan said about the how the people in Detroit make the city special.
Boy was he an example of that.
From there, Craig and I went to the Record Graveyard in Hamtramck. Because Craig had surprisingly never been there before. So, we got to go to my little Polish haven. We cruised Jos Campus and passed the wide array of Polish Bakeries. We also passed our new favorite place to get taxes done. "Mo Money Taxes."
I thought Craig new where he was going and so I left him do his thing. He passed the Record Graveyard and I figured he was just looking for a place to park. Then he just kept on going until he said, "Did we pass it yet?" To which I replied, "Well, yeah like awhile a go."
Craig turned around and had a few choice words for me. And then we finally parked and went it. They were having a half off sale. So I was ready to run a train on the records there. I usually have a certain artist or band in mind when I go record shopping. But, not today. I snagged Cheap Trick: Dream Police. Quiet Riot: Metal Health, Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band: Against the Wind, and a Dave Clark Five Greatest Hits record for 50 cents apiece.
I only had my debit card on me, so I had to use it to purchase the records. The only problem was that the total was under 10 dollars so he could not do it. So he did me a solid and tossed in Pink Floyd: Meddle for me. Not a bad throw in.
From there Craig had to call his mom and tell him about her about the legend that is Showtime Dan, as we made our way down I-94 and back to the Shores.
After jamming out to the Clash I finally arrived back home. I shook Craig's hand and rushed inside, as I could not wait to tell anyone who was home my story.
That first person was my dad, who wished me a happy birthday and asked how Detroit was.
All I could do was shake my head and say, "You do not know the absolute amazingness that just happened to me today."
After I rattled off everything to my dad, he just laughed and said, "Wow."
Then after I came back down to Earth, all I could think about again was what Showtime Dan said about the people of Detroit. And how they were special.
And as I set-up Lady Soul on the turn-table and Chain of Fools came on, I just kicked backed and realized why Showtime Dan's quote was stuck in my head.
It was because through all the adventures Craig and I embarked on, we met people who made Detroit special. And together proved one thing.
Showtime Dan was was right.
Detroit is a special place.
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